Scheduling Nightmares

Within my family, it's not so much an issue of invisibility as it is an issue of being irrelevant, I suppose. Whenever something has to be planned, it is my schedule and availability that is never considered. Even when I'm asked what dates I'm available, or what might not work for me, my schedule is ignored and dismissed in favor of everyone else's, every single time. This is an aspect of our family dynamic that I've come to accept and have learned to live with.

I hadn't realized before, how often this same thing happens with the other people in my life, outside of my family. A group of people I know are scheduling a day to get some work done on the school our kids go to. An email went out to the group of 10 parents, asking when we AREN'T available to do the project. I had only two Sundays for the whole summer that I was not available. And, of course, they scheduled for one of those Sundays.

In my dismay, I started thinking over other events we've tried to schedule, as a group and with different members of this group. More times than not, meetings and events have been scheduled on the days I expressed my own unavailability, and I've had to shuffle other things around to accommodate. Almost as many times, meetings and events have been rescheduled, but I didn't get the word until the very last minute.

This sudden opening of my eyes to yet another level of my invisibility sent me scouring over my date book. How many times had my schedule been overlooked, dismissed, disrespected in favor of everyone else? I won't depress myself or anyone else with an actual count... a lot is all we need to know.

I can't imagine what it is that makes my life any less valid, less important than anyone else's. I hope, through these observations and meanderings, that I will soon be able to figure it out. Not what makes my life less valid, for I believe wholeheartedly that I am important, my life is valid. But rather, I hope to understand how and why I manage to be rendered invisible so often and so easily.